Test Drive

No, we are not test driving a new vehicle (yet--we do want to pick up a different truck, though). I have been practicing so I can pass the driving part of the motorcycle endorsement. Last summer I took the written part of the test and have been driving with a temporary endorsement--kind of like a learner's permit. Now, I need to take the driving part of the test. It is so-o-o-o hard! Mikie (son) took me down to the course and walked me through the cone weave, the tight U-turn, the 90 degree left turn, the obstacle portion, and the quick stop. After practicing two hours that evening, I could finally do the 90 degree turn (some of the time), the obstacle portion, and the quick stop.

Mike (husband) and I went down last night, and they had repainted the course and changed things on it! Now I am not quite sure what to do! He still had me practice and I did worse than I did the time before! I don't think I will ever be able to master this. The frustrating part is that you have to do things on the course that most people will never be required to do in real-life. On top of that, Utah changed the law a couple of years ago for the endorsement requirements. A person used to be able to pass the course test on any size bike and get their license. So a person could drive the course on a tiny 250 (which is fairly easy to do) and have the endorsement. Now in order to drive a bigger bike, you have to pass the course on a big bike--and it is not that easy to do. Even Mike, who has been riding motorcycles since he was a kid, said parts of the test are a little tricky on a bigger size bike.

Next week my temp license expires. I will either be celebrating or . . . . . . . .

Wish me luck, I will need lots of it!

Empty Nest

Why is it that everyone is so excited about the kids growing up and moving out? I admit that I looked forward to that day, but now that the day is here I can't stand it. With the kids at home there was always something to do, someone to talk to and care for, and the feeling that I made a difference in the home. Yes, the difference may have only been that the laundry was done, the grocery shopping taken care, or food was on the table--but it counted for something. The house was filled with emotions, busyness, and purpose. And though we didn't always have the "Brady Bunch" sweetness and everything is fine moments, we did have good times and plenty of those special times when everything feels right.

I was watching "Failure to Launch" last night with Mike. At one point the mom in the story made the comment that having her son move out and leaving just her and her husband scared the **** out of her. She then went on with her fears of "what if we don't like each other any more?" and so on. When I first watched the movie a couple of years ago, these comments didn't even register. Now, I so know what she means.

I don't know how to be with "just Mike." What are we supposed to do? What do we talk about? How do we live with just the two of us? It doesn't seem like we should be hiding in different rooms, in books or movies, or in work-related projects. I can't get used to not having others around to fill the voids or give me purpose--so, I am lost--really lost in this new, and disappointing phase of life.

If any of you have suggestions on dealing with this, please pass them on. I really don't know how or what to do with this "empty nest" stage.